Life is music!

I have heard people say "Music is my life, but what I believe is life is musical.
Every day brings new light which is more like a new happy song,  every emotion expresses something thus emotions are lyrics, my mood decides the tune of the song whether it'll be rock, jazz etc and the events that happen during the day become the accompanying instruments.
soul is the music director and we as individuals are singers!
And that is how I justify my life is music. :D

Sing, dance and smile! :D :)

Hugs bring smiles!

I was sitting in the lobby like any other day, when my phone rang. It was a call from an unknown number. Nonetheless, i recieved the call. It was a call from my friend. She had called up from a near by PCO. All she said to me during our 30 second conversation was meet me in the park in the next 5 minutes. Before I could ask her something she disconnected the line. 

I rushed to the park as i was really worried about her. I reached before she was there. I waited for a minute or two when I saw her coming running towards me with tears in her eyes. She hugged me tight and cried, cried her heart out for about 15 minutes. 

After that i wiped her tears put my hand on her shoulder and asked her what had happened, she told me the whole story. The situation was such that even i didn't have a solution to the problem. Nevertheless, i tried to lighten her mood, but alas no success. I didn't know what to do so i gave her a big bear hug and to my surprise the moment i gave her a warm hug she was smiling, her forehead didn't have evil lines of tension now. It was pretty visible that she felt better after the hug.

We sat on the only vacant bench in the park had a chit-chat session, until she felt relaxed. After the chat session we decided to go home togethere. I decided to drop her home first. We walked to her house with another session of jokes and crazy talks. When we reached her house she gave me a warm hug and said I feel calm now, to which I smiled. As i turned to go back she held my hand from behind and said " promise, you will never ever ditch me or leave me" and I with full confidence said I PROMISE! and I smiled again left the place.

While i was coming back home, a flashback of the series of event that had happened  ran through my head and made me realise 2 things:

1) At times all a person craves for is a friend to sit by her side and say no matter what i am always there.

2) Hugs can make all the difference.

So, ladies and gentelmen try spending time with your near and dear ones., You never know the turmoil going inside that person and the amount of craving she has for a person to sit by and say ALL IS WELL!

Keep spreading smiles and love! :D

गुलामी: कला की!

लोग कहते हैं वक़्त किसी का मोहताज नहीं होता. मैं कहती हूँ कला के अलावा मैं किसी और चीज़ की मोहताज नहीं हूँ. हाँ! ये सच है की मे वक़्त बरबाद करती हूँ , कभी कभी कुछ ज्यादा ही. पर मैं ये बात कभी नहीं मानूंगी की मैं वक़्त की गुलाम हूँ. ऐसा नहीं है की मैं कोई नायाब इंसान हूँ, बस फरक इतना है की लोग वक़्त की और मैं कला की गुलामी करती हूँ.
किसी ज़माने मैं वक़्त की भी दिन-रात सेवा करा करती थी पर उससे सिर्फ मुझे थकान महसूस होती थी. हर चीज़ के लिए मैंने अपना वक़्त निर्धारित कर रखा था. लग रहा थी की ज़िन्दगी किसी घडी की तरह हो, जो चलती तो है पर उसका कोई वजूद नहीं है. ऐसा लगता था की बस सांस ले रही हूँ क्यूंकि वो ज़रूरी है, जी रही हूँ बस पर जिंदा नहीं हूँ. एक दिन इस वक़्त की गुलामी से तंग आकर मैंने इस ज़ालिम वक़्त को लात मारी और वो करना प्रारंभ किया को मुझे पसंद आता था.
धीरे-धीरे मैंने जब वक़्त की गुलामी छोड़ अपने दिल की बात को सुन्ना शुरू किया तब मुझे ये एह्स्सास हुआ की ये ज़िन्दगी कितनी हस्सीन, और हर लम्हा कितना ख़ास होता है. एक महत्वपूर्ण बात की आखिर कला क्या चीज़ होती है? नाचना?, गाना? बजाना? आदि. सही म्य्नों मे इसकी परिभाषा तो शायद ही कोई बता पाए पर मेरे लिए कला हर वो चीज़ है जिसे करने के बाद आपका दिमाग शांत और आत्मा को सुकून का आभास हो. हर वो चीज़ जो आपको दुनिया के शोर शराबे से दूर, इस कभी न ख़तम होने वाली दौड़ से अलग ले जाये वो कला होती है. ये एक ऐसी गुलामी है जिसके बाद आपके अन्दर जीवन को जीने का जोश आ जाता है. हर सांस खूबसूरत लगने लगती है
गुलामी करनी है तो उस चीज़ की करिए जो आपकी मुस्कान का कारण बने.
अपने सपनों की गुलामी करिए, अपने हर शौक की गुलामी करिए, अपने अपनों की मुस्कान की गुलामी करिए.
इस  कला की गुलामी को जो अपने जीवन का मकसद बना ले मेरे अनुसार उससे ज्यादा सुखी इंसान कोई हो ही नहीं सकता.

I Write

I write
I dont know whether i write nicely
I dont even know whether people like what I write
all I know is that when I write I feel relieved
I feel as if my chest is clear and my mind is without fear
and that is how I justify that I write.

Camera!

I hate this device not because I don't like getting clicked,  but simply because it captures moments of happiness.  Every picture says more than 10000 words. Uncountable emotions are captured,  every smile this commodity captures becomes a memory.
But,  my major problem is that people these days instead of living the moment focus on capturing the moment.
Recently,  I went to a dance event where children hardly 9-10 years old were dancing. As soon as the performance started almost every parent in the hall took out their phones,  cameras and what not and started recording the performance instead of enjoying it Live.
I am not saying one shouldn't click pictures all I'm trying to convey is that living the moment is much more important than capturing the moment.
So, live, dream and smile for yourself,  smell the fragrance of that happy moment and trust me your brain will capture the moment more beautifully than any DSLR  camera!

Few hours before exam!

So my 3rd semester exams start today. Am I nervous? well....I don't know. Am I prepared? I think I am. I usually am pretty cool before exams but I don't know why I am a bit nervous this time. Technically I should be studying instead of blogging but then I have a saturation point and I have attained that tonight so my blogging is kinda justified.
Also, I am listening to my favourite song on repeat only mode for some unknown reason.
And the coolest part is that it is okay to be a bit not so okay few hours before your exam.

wish me luck!  :D

बेबसी!

अपने सपनों की चिता को अपने आप आग लगाने से ज्यादा दर्दनाक शायद ही कुछ और हो इस दुनिया मैं. मुझे हमेशा लगता था की रो लेने से मन हल्का हो जाता है और सारा दर्द बहार आकर ख़तम हो जाता है. लेकिन ऐसा हुआ ही नहीं. ये न जाने कैसी तकलीफ थी रोना ही नहीं आया, बस अजीब सी घुटन होती रही. एक अजीब सी बेचैनी सी हो रही थी, ऐसा लग रहा था की शायद ये दुनिया एक अभिशाप है. मुझे नहीं पता ऐसा कितने लोगो के साथ होता है, मुझे ये भी नहीं पता की लोग इससे कैसे बहार आते हैं, मुझे तो ये भी नहीं पता की बहार भी आते हैं या नहीं क्यूंकि मैं तो इस घुटन से अभी तक अपना पीछा नहीं छुड़ा पायी हूँ.
न जाने ये कैसी अजीब सी बेबसी है. ये एक ऐसी स्तिथि है जिसे शायद ही कोई शब्दों मैं बयां कर पाए.  कभी कभी तो ऐसा लगता है कि आंसू भी हस रहे हों, ऐसा प्रतीत होता है की अपनी खुद की आत्मा ही धिकार रही हो. अपनी ही आँखों मैं अपने ही अपनों के लिए अजीब सी नफरत दिखाई देने लगती है. पर एक बात तो मानननी ही पड़ेगी और वो ये है की इस हालत के जिमेदार कहीं न कहीं हमारे अपने ही होते हैं. मैं तो कई बार अपने आपको सहानुभूती देने के लिए ऐसा मान ही लेती हूँ, क्यूंकि मेरा मानना ये भी है की अपने आप से नफरत करने से लाख गुना बेहतर है अपनों से नफरत करना. लेकिन ये तरकीब भी कभी कभार ही काम आती है.
बड़े- बुजुर्गों ने कहा है "अपने आखिर अपने ही होते हैं" और चाहे मैं अपने आपको कुछ भी सम्झालूँ इस सचाई को कोई नहीं बदल सकता. हाँ! ये सच है उन्होंने मेरे ख्वाबों को एहमियत नहीं दी, काफी हद्द तक ये भी सच है की उन्होंने ने ही मेरे अन्दर के खिलखिलाते इंसान को मारा है, और तो और ये भी सच है की आज उन्हीं की और सिर्फ उन्हीं लोगों के कारण मुझे अपने आप घिन आती है.
अपना ध्यान इस दिशा से हटाने के लिए मैंने काफी कुछ किया, जैसे: लगभग सारी प्रतियोगिताओं मे हिस्सा लिया, घर से बाहर रहने के जायस कारण ढूंढे जैसे मुझे कम से कम समय बिताना पड़े उन चार दीवारी के भीतर. कई बार अपने आस पास की चीज़ों की आवाज़ इतनी ऊँची करी की अपने अन्दर की आवाज़ सुनाई ही न दे पर ये तरकीब भी कुछ समय बाद असफल हो गयी.
कभी कभी बस ऐसा लगता है की रो लेते तो शायद अच्छा होता.
बस एक ही आग्रह है आप सबसे की अपने ख्वाबों की कब्र मत खोदियेगा कभी जीते जी मर जायेंगे!

Delhi roads: A mood lifter!

Walking alone at night with some pleasant music on. When it seems the street lights are focused on you, stars above smile at you, moon tries to calm you down, mild winds dismiss the lines of tension on your forehead and the sky above enjoys the whole scenario.
The best all of is that they accompany you till the end. How I wish the time would stop. And this pleasure could last forever!
I feel peaceful now very peaceful and I am smiling just because of this.
This might sound strange but then experiencing is believing! :)

Suicide!

Some call it a cowardly act, others call it stupidity. At times the world thinks people who attempt or try to commit suicide are either escapists or losers in life. At times I wonder have these human units ever thought why does a person think about something called SUICIDE! It is  pretty obvious nobody likes to hurt themselves. Right? I think human units these days are way more than too busy to lend an ear to listen to other person's problem and that is exactly the reason why I call such people human UNITS and not not human BEINGS. I am not in favour of suicides. I am against it too. But that is not the solution.

In this rat race to come first, the skill and the ability to not tolerate the second position has made us so insensitive that we have forgotten basic lessons of humanity. Maybe that's what we call development unfortunately. One might help a friend or a relative monetarily but lending a shoulder to cry on seems to be a herculean task. I am not saying that one shouldn't help in terms of finances. All I am trying to convey is at times we all need something beyond materialistic pleasures like a hug from a person we love, a kiss from a person who is concerned about us or at times just a shoulder to cry on. Yes! at times we all need that. You need it, I need it, in short all of us need/require it at some point in time. 

I don't know all the reasons behind suicide. But one of the most common and prominent reason why teenagers and youngsters commit suicide is due to PRESSURE FOR MARKS and  PRESSURE FOR A GOOD CAREER. Now what I fail  to understand is, since when did marks and career become more important than one's life? Have we reached that level where the potential of an individual is measured in terms of marks or his/her pay scale?  I myself am a victim of this absolutely ridiculous Indian Education system and an abnormally weird Indian society too. But i choose to fight back instead of giving up!

So just remember SUCIDE is not a cowardly act it is a way of showing pain and suffering. Best way to help a suicidal person is to spend time with them. Talk to them, party with them make them believe that you are there no matter what. And most importantly give them a hug. Trust me it is the best thing possible, best form of expression, best way to tell you are always there!

Spread Love folks! :)

Worth of a hug!

One day I was really upset for some reason. I was sitting on the staircase of my college with my arms folded, back straight and legs crossed. Everything was usual in the corridor. Then suddenly a professor came taped my head and said come let's go for a walk. I didn't know her very well she had never taught me we had just met during an event and that too for a very short period of time. Nevertheless, I accompanied her for a walk. We went outside the college without uttering a single word. When we were at least 200 meters away from college she said, "Hi" and I replied the same. After about 2 mins later she asked me at times it's just okay to cry instead of feeling suffocated within. The very next moment i hugged her tight, really tight and cried, cried a lot. After crying for a good 10 mins she wiped my tears gave me a smile and said are you feeling better now? to which i nodded. Then she kept her hand on my head and said always remember one thing in life " At times all you have to do is let your emotions flow and a shoulder to cry on", I didn't say anything after that. We continued walking for a while. After a while I asked her, Ma’am! you didn't ask me what happened, to which she replied " I wanted you to share on your own when you felt better", I smiled and after a while told her everything. I gave her a detailed account of what had happened each and every possible detail. She listened to the whole story very patiently and then gave me a simple solution for the same.

I was feeling much better now or rather I felt relieved.  By, this time we had reached the parking lot where her car was parked. She was just about to sit in her car when I said thank you, she looked back smiled and hugged me again. We exchanged our contact numbers, she told me to whatsap her once I reached home and then she left.

I walked towards the metro station while thinking about the sequence of events that had happened in the last one hour, I couldn’t really understand why did all this happen, how did it happen and the usual set of primary questions flooded my head.

All I now knew was at times all you need is GOOD TIGHT HUG and A SHOULDER TO CRY ON!

Hence never underestimate the power of hug! J

घडी!

हर पल का एहसास है
हर क्षण का आभास है
हर वक़्त का ख्याल है
पर फिर भी हर जगह समय का आकाल है!

जीवन की कहानी!

हर घडी कुछ बताती है
हर चीज़ कुछ सिखाती है

हर पल कुछ होता है
इंसान यूँ ही सपने संजोता है

हर अश्क कुछ समझाता है
हर लम्हा कुछ सिखा जाता है

हर उम्मीद कुछ जताती है
हर आस कुछ याद दिलाती है

हर नींद सुकून लाती है
हर सुबह उम्मीद जगाती है

हर रोज़ एक मौका है
हर क्षण एक धोखा है

हर सुबह नयी है
और हर रात पुरानी है

बस यही जीवन की कहानी है!

आवाज़!

हर रंग कुछ कहता है
हर सुर कुछ बोलता है
हर ताल कुछ कहती है
हर लय कुछ सिखाती है
हर साज कुछ समझाता है
हर मुस्कान कुछ बताती है
हर खवाब कुछ बोता है
हर रंग कुछ कहता है
हर सुर कुछ बोलता है

इबादत!

दर्द के बिना मलहम की एहमियत कहाँ
नफरत के बिना प्यार की ज़रुरत कहाँ
बंदिश के बिना आज़ादी की कीमत कहाँ
बेबसी के बिना उम्मीद की आवश्यकता कहाँ
और अश्कों के बिना मुस्कराहट की वक़त कहाँ!!!

वाह रे शुभचिंतकों!

भाई ये शुभचिंतक भी अजीब लोग होते हैं. ये लोग कहते हैं की हम हमेशा अपने बच्चों का भला ही चाहते हैं. लेकिन फिर भी अपने ही बच्चों के सपनों का गला दबा देते हैं. कोई मुझे ये बताये आखिर इसमें ये आदरणीय शुभचिंतक कोनसा भला ढूंड रहे थे? एक तो जो करना था वो करने भी न दिया ऊपर से भलाई और प्यार का कम्बल ओढ़ कर आराम से सो गए.

अब कोई इनसे ये पूछे की ये तो चैन की नींद सो गए पर जिस इंसान के साथ ये ज्याख्ती की है इन ज्ञानी शुभचिंतकों ने उस बेचारे की तो रातों की नींद ओर दिन का चैन ही उड़ गया ना. आजकल एक नया चलन चला है उसको लोग emotional blackmail कहते हैं. इस भारी शब्द के तहत इंसान को अपने परम पुज्य शुभचिंतकों की बात माननी पड़ती है क्यूंकि वो उनके बड़े हैं, उनसे बेंतिहान मोहोबत करते हैं ओर सबसे एहम बात उन्होंने ये ज़ालिम दुनिया हमसे ज्यादा देखि होती है. 

मैं ये बिलकुल भी नहीं कह रही हूँ की वो गलत हैं. मैं बस ये बताना चाह रही हूँ की जब तक गिरेंगे नहीं, लड्खादायेंगे नहीं तब तक चलना कैसे सीखेंगे? ये लोग हमे चलना सिखाने के बजाये हमे बैसाखी इस्तेमाल करना पहले सिखा रहे हैं जो की गलत है बिलकुल गलत है. 

जो सपने हम देखते हैं उन्हें पूरा करने मैं हमे ख़ुशी के साथ साथ सुकून भी मिलता है. पर जो सपने हमे ज़बरदस्ती हमारे शुभचिंतक दिखाते हैं उन्हें पूरा करते-करते तो हम ही आधे हो जाते हैं.

अब आप खुद ही सोचिये कोनसा विकल्प उचित है और कोनसा अनुचित है. मेरे अनुसार तो नतीजा साफ़ है. 

बाकी जैसी आपकी इच्छा!

जो भी करिये बस खुश और सुकून से रहिये!!! :)

Serenity is Triveni!

Triveni Kala Sangam, a place where I realised the importance and value of peace. This place is technically a school for music,  art, dance, photography and sculpture.Three rooms in this amazing place are reserved for art exhibitions excluding one open art gallery.
I joined this school to continue learning the love of my life i.e. TABLA. Initially I used to go straight to the class room and learn the days lesson and leave the premises as soon as my class got over.
One day I was in a bad mood,  so I decided to go to Triveni 2 hours before my class started. In order to deviate my mind went inside the art gallery and to my surprise the moment I entered the gallery my face had a broad grin. I saw each and every painting in the gallery with utmost concentration, I spent good 10 mins looking at one painting. That day I realised the value of expression. I realised colours could express more than words. And every painting has a story behind it and every artist meditates while painting.
After I left the art gallery I decided to spend somethime in the Open Art Gallery. I just sat in the gallery for 1 hour and my mind was at peace. My mood was calm now. I didn't know what led to this change but I loved that peace within me. So, I decided to go before time the next day also sat in the open art gallery clicked pictures of the sky, trees, walls and almost everything. For a person like me who hated photography this was a drastic change. I clicked around 25-30 pictures. Whenever I looked at the sky above I found it beautiful,  for birds their chirps became music to my ears and for the smell of paints the finest fragrance on Earth.
Oh yeah!  Not to forget the amazing canteen where I religiously have an ice cream and a Fanta. The staff knows me well now and doesn't even ask for my order now, they just give me what I want and on my part I don't even ask for the bill and straight away put forty rupees on the table. One fine day the cashier asked me "madam aap 3 din se aaye nahi sab theek hai na? " I was surprised by this question I never knew a cashier would be so concerned. Nevertheless,  I replied and said "haan dada sab theek hai, chinta mat kariye". To which he smiled. I later realised I had started loving that place so much that everyone part of that place became an essential part of my life.
Every room in Triveni became my room whether it was dance room, flute room, music room or the canteen.  I felt those rooms waited for me, this might sound weird but that's exactly what I feel. I never knew Triveni would become my best companion.
The rooms, people, staff, paintings or I can simply say I love Triveni the way it is.
Triveni is the only school which taught me what exactly is meant by serenity, peace and selfless love.

सपने: अपने या अपनों के???

लोग कहते हैं फलाना बीमारी सबसे खतरनाक है, फलाना आदत बहुत खतरनाक है और भी ना जाने क्या-क्या कहते हैं लोग. पर मुझे लगता है और पाश ने जो कहा है “सबसे खतरनाक होते है हमारे सपनों का मर जाना”. ये एक ऐसी मृत्यु होती है जिसका गम सिर्फ हम और हमारी अंतरात्मा ही मेह्स्सोस कर सकते हैं. सपनों की मृत्यु के बाद एक अजीब सी घुटन और एक अजीब सी बेबसी का आभास होता है. मैंने बहुत कोशिश करी की लोगों को अपने सपनों का गला दबाने की श्रेय न दूँ पर ऐसा होना सका.

कुछ अपनों  के समक्ष जब मैंने ये बातें करी तो उन्हें लगा की ये किसी बुरी संगत का असर है. कैसे बताती उन्हें की ये सब उन्ही के लिए हुए फैसलों का परिणाम है? शायद जो लोग जिन को मैं दोष दे रही हूँ वो मेरे अपने ही हैं. इन्ही अपनों ने मेरे खवाबों की, मेरे कीमती सपनों की हत्या की है. क्या मेरे अपने ही मेरे खवाबों के गुनेहगार हैं? या मैं अब इतनी कमज़ोर हो गयी हूँ की मैं अपनी इस हालत का जिमेदार किसी और को ठेरा रही हूँ?  

बेराल जो भी हो धरती पर पुरे 18 साल बिताने के बाद ये तो पता चल गया की अगर कोई चीज़ है जो सबसे खतरनाक, सबसे ज्यादा दर्द पहुचने की शमता रखती है वो है हमारे अपने अनमोल कीमती सपनों की मृत्यु!

मैं पूरे संसार मे रहने वाले हर एक इंसान से बस एक ही आगरेह करना चाहती हूँ की चाहे कुछ भी हो जाये अपने सपनों को मरने मत दीजियेगा. क्यूंकि इस ज़ख़्म को भरने के लिए कोई दावा नहीं है और ये एक ऐसा घाव जो वक़्त के साथ और गहरा ही होता है.
सपने देखिये और उन्हें पूरा कीजिये!!! :)

लोग!

कुछ सही तो कुछ ख़राब कहते हैं,
लोग तो हमे बिगड़ा हुआ नवाब कहते हैं,
हम तो बदनाम भी कुछ इस कदर हुए हैं,
की पानी भी पियें तो लोग शराब कहते हैं!!!

BABA!

29th september 2012! was a black day in my life, because i lost you, i lost you forever. For a month i couldn't sleep, eat or do almost anything but as promised didn't cry. I swear not even a single drop of tear came rolling down my eyes, maybe because i was your strong grand- daughter. Chachu often says you are still with us, you are watching us, smiling at us but i don't believe him because you taught me "seeing is believing". Some people say you are gone but I don't believe them either because i know you can never ever leave me alone. You knew i needed you badly before boards then why did you ditch me? why did you break your promise? you were suppose to wish me luck before each and ever exam, you were suppose to see me shine, then why did you leave me???
I know you know that i miss you everyday, each and everyday but then that's all i can do. I never knew I could be so helpless in life before you left me.
One very simple question that i keep on asking myself is, :"was I bad girl who didn't deserve your company when she needed the most?" Had you been here i would have been a different person, i would be a happy person, i would have loved life, but you still left me.
I don't believe that someone called GOD had the audacity or the courage to snatch you away from me. I know he/she is scared of both of us.
 I have suddenly lost my voice in this house, I don't have a right to express my opinion anymore. I know you are watching, but that is not enough because you must do something. YOU MUST
BABA why did you do that?
I NEED YOU VERY MUCH, VERRRRYYY VVVVEEERRRYY MUCH!
PLEASE COME BACK!!!!!!
YOU ARE MISSED EVERYDAY!!!
I LOVE YOU ALWAYS!
I PROMISE TO MAKE YOU PROUD!
I PLEDGE TO SHINE ONE DAY!!!!!

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