Yes! That's my provisional certificate, yes that's a second division and yes this is how it is. It has been two years to the result, nobody has asked me about it during any of my job interviews or internships. But, yes a certain set of people continue to ask-relish-dwell in it, for the reason best known to them.
I will not say that the result didn't matter to me, because duh! it did. It did quite a lot. I was disappointed with it despite being prepared for the same.
I had 73.5% in 12th and so I was obviously not allowed to expect some revolutionary score in my graduation. They had told me, for someone like you 90s shouldn't even be in the mind. They have been absolutely correct in saying so, amidst all the disappointment and shame I brought to them, this bit of keeping their word, I managed. I never got a 90% aggregate, LOL. Moreover, I wasn't even new to all this. Back then in school it was not only this bunch but an entire school faculty who had declared me as a loser. I am just glad that in college things changed. At least, professors stood by, people loved and all beautiful things happened.
It was probably the first time I realized there was more to me apart from being a dumb head at academics. A couple of professors counseled me, so many seniors stood by me even as I ranted and a huge gang of friends loved me despite all odds. I have been the department representative even after I scored shit marks in my semester exams. I was told that if I want to do what I want to, marks won't matter. That was the first time someone said that to me in the staff room, I was relieved like never before. But, all this happened in college!!
I had spent 14 years in school and nobody had the courage to say, 'That your low score will not kill you'. They chose to call up my parents to tell them how terrible I was at academics. This wasn't even new for them they had been a part of this drill since 6th grade, every second week they would call them up saying that I had failed in some subject. One of the teachers once said that its best if I repeat the year because that is going to be less embarassing than failing. YES! SHE SAID THAT. Surprisingly! I didn't feel weird after that maybe I had become immune to all of this. So, it wasn't that bad as I think of it now.
But, yes, if I am asked that will I ever be okay with taking my school's name as a part of a nice phase or something that happened for the good, then I am sorry that cannot happen. I am no God, I hated my school back then and I continue to hate it till date. IT SCREWED EXACTLY FOURTEEN YEARS OF MY LIFE.
I am a very proud-happy-alumni of the college I was a part of and have immense love and gratitude for it. It's THE reason for all the good that has happened. It has been and continues to be the best part of life and as far as I think it is going to remain that way.
I did some very interesting internships during college, learnt a lot and had a lot more fun. There was nobody who asked me about what I wanted to do with life or why I was in a particular college or how much I had scored in boards etc. I felt relieved, as if a boulder had been lifted from my chest. I met some amazing people as mentors, the people I still rush back to when I’m drowned in my mess. Yes! They still choose to stay with me, they still help me and they still wish good for me and yes, I know this for a fact.
If you know me you would know my relationship with Triveni Kala Sangam, even if you don’t I am sure you would have seen pictures of it I keep posting on Social Media. I found peace in that place, it felt like home, I felt beautiful, I felt at ease and most importantly I felt that I had the ability to not feel not okay.
Yes! It was that bad before college and Triveni.
Then came my first job, it was okayish. I was a content writer and the junior social media manager for a startup called Craterzone. My first salary was 20k and I was okay with it too. I worked there for a month and realised that I didn’t want to do something like that.
My second job was with the India Today Group, I worked there as a social media consultant for an year and it was lovely. I learnt a lot, met some nice and some very nice people and most importantly realised how important it is to be passionate. I saw people work for 18 hours at a stretch, I met people who would work for 12 hours for a video of 5 mins so that it could go viral and so much more
And currently I am with The Quint as a desk writer.
In all these events not a single person has asked me how much did I score in boards or in college, but unfortunately in every gathering I do find a bunch of people who are so interested in the moments of past that I fail to understand how un important the present is for them.
Anyway, grateful for all the good that has happened and for all the lessons that I learnt when less good happened. Immense gratitude for people who stayed and for the ones who chose to leave for the better. Shoutout and bear hugs for those who were there literally always and helped me survive on the days when the storm within overpowered me and I sincerely hope that I be there for you always.
Someone once told me: “There is no other way the world exists but in harmony”. I believe the person who said this and so I obviously believe in this too. Hope you believe this too, it’s beautiful. No?
Here’s hoping for harmony within and around. Love, peace, moon salutes and smiles, always!
P.S: My 12th board roll number: 5647753 (Batch of 2013)
My college exam roll number: 4121450036 (Batch of 2016)
You can check my marks anytime you want to.
Peace.
#ReleaseThePressure
I will not say that the result didn't matter to me, because duh! it did. It did quite a lot. I was disappointed with it despite being prepared for the same.
I had 73.5% in 12th and so I was obviously not allowed to expect some revolutionary score in my graduation. They had told me, for someone like you 90s shouldn't even be in the mind. They have been absolutely correct in saying so, amidst all the disappointment and shame I brought to them, this bit of keeping their word, I managed. I never got a 90% aggregate, LOL. Moreover, I wasn't even new to all this. Back then in school it was not only this bunch but an entire school faculty who had declared me as a loser. I am just glad that in college things changed. At least, professors stood by, people loved and all beautiful things happened.
It was probably the first time I realized there was more to me apart from being a dumb head at academics. A couple of professors counseled me, so many seniors stood by me even as I ranted and a huge gang of friends loved me despite all odds. I have been the department representative even after I scored shit marks in my semester exams. I was told that if I want to do what I want to, marks won't matter. That was the first time someone said that to me in the staff room, I was relieved like never before. But, all this happened in college!!
I had spent 14 years in school and nobody had the courage to say, 'That your low score will not kill you'. They chose to call up my parents to tell them how terrible I was at academics. This wasn't even new for them they had been a part of this drill since 6th grade, every second week they would call them up saying that I had failed in some subject. One of the teachers once said that its best if I repeat the year because that is going to be less embarassing than failing. YES! SHE SAID THAT. Surprisingly! I didn't feel weird after that maybe I had become immune to all of this. So, it wasn't that bad as I think of it now.
But, yes, if I am asked that will I ever be okay with taking my school's name as a part of a nice phase or something that happened for the good, then I am sorry that cannot happen. I am no God, I hated my school back then and I continue to hate it till date. IT SCREWED EXACTLY FOURTEEN YEARS OF MY LIFE.
I am a very proud-happy-alumni of the college I was a part of and have immense love and gratitude for it. It's THE reason for all the good that has happened. It has been and continues to be the best part of life and as far as I think it is going to remain that way.
I did some very interesting internships during college, learnt a lot and had a lot more fun. There was nobody who asked me about what I wanted to do with life or why I was in a particular college or how much I had scored in boards etc. I felt relieved, as if a boulder had been lifted from my chest. I met some amazing people as mentors, the people I still rush back to when I’m drowned in my mess. Yes! They still choose to stay with me, they still help me and they still wish good for me and yes, I know this for a fact.
If you know me you would know my relationship with Triveni Kala Sangam, even if you don’t I am sure you would have seen pictures of it I keep posting on Social Media. I found peace in that place, it felt like home, I felt beautiful, I felt at ease and most importantly I felt that I had the ability to not feel not okay.
Yes! It was that bad before college and Triveni.
Then came my first job, it was okayish. I was a content writer and the junior social media manager for a startup called Craterzone. My first salary was 20k and I was okay with it too. I worked there for a month and realised that I didn’t want to do something like that.
My second job was with the India Today Group, I worked there as a social media consultant for an year and it was lovely. I learnt a lot, met some nice and some very nice people and most importantly realised how important it is to be passionate. I saw people work for 18 hours at a stretch, I met people who would work for 12 hours for a video of 5 mins so that it could go viral and so much more
And currently I am with The Quint as a desk writer.
In all these events not a single person has asked me how much did I score in boards or in college, but unfortunately in every gathering I do find a bunch of people who are so interested in the moments of past that I fail to understand how un important the present is for them.
Anyway, grateful for all the good that has happened and for all the lessons that I learnt when less good happened. Immense gratitude for people who stayed and for the ones who chose to leave for the better. Shoutout and bear hugs for those who were there literally always and helped me survive on the days when the storm within overpowered me and I sincerely hope that I be there for you always.
Someone once told me: “There is no other way the world exists but in harmony”. I believe the person who said this and so I obviously believe in this too. Hope you believe this too, it’s beautiful. No?
Here’s hoping for harmony within and around. Love, peace, moon salutes and smiles, always!
P.S: My 12th board roll number: 5647753 (Batch of 2013)
My college exam roll number: 4121450036 (Batch of 2016)
You can check my marks anytime you want to.
Peace.
#ReleaseThePressure
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